Consternation

So I sat down today to the prospect of a wonderful evening. Yes, I had worked throughout the day, and it felt good to have done a man's job. Something about having to come home and take a shower before thinking of anything else makes me think good about myself...that or I may just need a better deodorant (pause for all the female readers to say "eeew" and resume). Tonight was going to be fun. Ah, don't you love how, when you DON'T make plans, you end up having a wonderful evening? Well, tonight I MADE plans to have a wonderful evening, and they were...disoriented. Now, I already know what you are going to tell me when I say this (no, I'm not a mind reader, I've just heard it from my friends tonight already) but my phone died. Yes, please, don't say it. I know it's terrible for me to be so attached to it, and in my mind I can hear several intellectual people giving their intense thoughts on the matter. Anyway, I've realized how addicted I am to my phone. Not quite as bad as a drug, but its up there with some people's need for coffee throughout the day (yes, I do know that caffeine is a drug). Upon the realization that my phone wasn't going to make it through the night I also realized several other things that bummed me out. A) I shouldn't have gotten the Cajun Shrimp Alfredo. B) Some of my friends are jerks (but that's okay, I am too sometimes) and C) My mom is a racist (well, that was last night, but I thought I'd reiterate it into today's horrific thoughts). These thoughts, mixed together with an overdue meltdown of annoyance settled me into a somber mood for the evening. Ah, now, aren't you all happy you read this?

Common Sense and Faith

Recently a friend and I were talking about faith. I love the guy with all my heart, but he said something that really got me thinking. What he said went something like this: I'm trying so hard to find the balance between faith and common sense. You know, doing the smart thing. I told him that there wasn't really a balance to faith and common sense, because you can't have to much faith. He disagreed, saying that God wouldn't reward stupidity. Now, I may have taken him wrong, but here are a few examples of seemingly stupid things that people did in the Bible because they had faith.

Daniel: prayed in the window
Smart thing to do: stay out of the window for a few days
Result: thrown in the Lion's den
Result of that: a king saw the power of THE true God

Joshua: marched around the strongest city in Canaan to destroy it
Smart thing to do: use strategy and force to destroy it, or just march around it and let someone else destroy it
Result: Walls came crumbling down and an entire nation saw God's raw and awesome power!

Ruth: widowed and penniless left her home to be with her mother-in-law (who in their right mind?)
Smart thing: stay with daddy and mommy (her cool one) where she would have better chances to find a hubby
Result: God provided for her needs, gave her another (better) hubby, gave her her own book in the Bible, and included her in the linage of Jesus

Noah: built a boat for a hundred and twenty years
Smart thing: stop seemingly wasting his time and enter a life of ease
First result of obeying God: was laughed at and scorned, but stayed dry (and alive) for forty days and nights while the rest of the world was destroyed.

I could go on and on and ON but the point is that in ALL of our lives God asks us to do things that look ridiculous and cause us to scratch our heads, but the point is we can't have to much faith in what He says. I'm sure that Noah lost some direction and questioned what he was doing in those 120 yrs of building (honestly, do you REALLY thing that every one of those days was spent building an Ark and zero of them were spent in prayer seeking God's direction? So to my friend I just say, keep faith. Even today when you go about your life keep in mind that its never bad to have to much faith (even when it makes more sense to do something smarter)

From One Anti-Five O'clock Person To Another

I basically spent the entire day with Noah. That was, amazing. He is decidedly a morning person...or maybe a mid-day person. But he is definitely not a five o'clock person.

Adam gave me a sandwich for lunch...thank you Adam. It was...delish.

After that I came over to my brother and sister-in-law's house(I'm still getting used to that term Beth, cause I've always just thought of you as a sister) . Noah was up and at-em. We had a lot of fun together today. Went to the beach and watched the birds...on the way to the beach we listened to the Beach Boys...merely a coincidence that we did though, there was no preconceived ideas in my head when I played it, haha.

We (Noah and I) were almost drenched, and just barely made it to the cafeteria before a downpour.

When we got home (my brother and sister-in-law's) it was 5 o'clock. He was a grouch. Develops a sever case of A.D.D. and the only thing that will hold his attention for more than 5 seconds is (can you guess?) my cell phone. His infatuation with cell phones concerns me, because he is almost to the same level of addiction that I am. Poor guy. He'll grow up never knowing what its like to stay out later than he was supposed to, because his parents couldn't get a hold of him to tell him his curfew changed. Noah, the things you'll be cursed to put up with by this technology. I just wish you could understand me as you each for my phone again...you don't want this haha.

Um, so I grew in God today. A little bit of faith was the result, and a lot of fumbling around and feeling silly the means by which I procured my ounce of faith, and I don't regret it (the fumbling and feeling silly part). God is so good...I want to tell the world. I want to share it with everyone. It makes me sick to see the amount of decay in our churches. Wake up :) Know God is alive! He's real! He LOVES us! Sigh, I'll leave that sermon for another day...

There Is Something Amiss Devil Horn Man

Took a big step (for me) this weekend. My (other) dad, the one here in FL, asked me to consider helping out with a youth pastor position. Honestly, I fought it. I'm not a strong mighty Christian that just accepts things like that on a whim, nor have I heard a booming voice from God telling me to do this. No, I have struggled with saying yes for quite sometime. But this week I felt God settle on my shoulder and say very quietly (the way He has to do to get my attention) that everything will be okay. I'm not accepting the task at hand because I think that "Jared is able". No, I'm doing because I can do all things through Christ, Who strengthens me. Keep me in your prayers constantly, for I feel like I am so weak, and so tiny. God will be the only reason anything good comes out of this. And I give Him all the glory and honor for anything that will happen.

I also discovered that a Renaissance festival has about two or three good, clean acts in it. Saw a lot of examples of how NOT to let my daughter dress...EVER. And I discovered that Sherry can give the most evil dirty little looks. Quite disturbing actually. Although I do believe I got the last laugh when the flute man hit on her hardcore (Sherry, remember, you know where to find him). Elf ears are not really that becoming on me, and whoever the man was that put the devil horns on me should know I felt very very awkward, yet was strangely curious as to what the heck was going on. Hence, due to the happen-chance that there was a camera present, a picture is floating around with me in horns. Thank you devil horn man. Oh, and finally, I realized today that I am a geek when it comes to ancient weaponry lingo (So I enjoyed reading the Encyclopedia and played a lot of knight games on the computer growing up...what about it?). I felt odd trying to explain the difference between some, and most likely bored my friends to death with little facts they knew already.

Highlight: watching an acrobat do comedy...yes, it was 10x funnier than it sounds

Well all you nosey family members, I hope this satisfies your taste for news awhile longer.

A Look Through My Brown Eyes

The back door is opened again...Seth turns around and yells in the most serious voice I've ever heard Seth ever use. I think it was the same for the kids, because they stopped. But, like normal, when a door is shut (no pun intended) another opens, cause pretty soon they started yelling and fighting amongst each other. Poor Josh, he got the blunt of it. He gets the blunt of it a lot. Week one I was in Indiantown I knew that. He sat alone on the slide, so defensive. So ready for the attack. His heart still has a tender side. A side that we adults have learned to make hard and let things roll off our backs. It hurts him still when the kids call him fat, he hasn't learned to laugh it off, or make a joke about it. They let him have it with both barrels tonight, and by the time the van stops his face is in his hands and doesn't want to get off the bus. I did what I could, but it took "Super-Joy" to the rescue to convince him it was either home or the service, no staying on the bus.

Wow, a missing hat, malfunctioning equipment, and two prayers later its starting to get quiet. Flo and Becka play and lead the kids in a song...if you call the yelling of lyrics singing (I have to admit, I love hearing them sing, anyway for those words to get stuck in their heads). Some how I strategically placed myself behind the four rowdiest kids (or were they just four kids in front of me...they all seemed pretty rowdy). Peewee...oh Peewee...how innocent he can look. Super-Joy gave him a moment on the floor tonight...he decided he didn't like to be the center of attention, and since we don't allow sideshows he opted for at least whispering. I look over at Becka and catch her eye, big smile. She loves the kids here, all the workers do. Tonight Johnny spoke to the kids about temptation, and did an amazing job. I'm glad he takes it seriously. Joel, oh Joel, I can see that you have thousands of thoughts in your head when you hear those kids saying or doing something they shouldn't. He has a lot of patience, a lot of love. Seth, you too have patience in abundance, and a love for those kids, I can see on your face. Flo, wow, I've never seen someone so gifted with being in front of a crowd and handling hecklers like you do. Becka, I'm not really sure what you do (just kidding) but those kids sure do love you an awful lot. Then, the backbone of the whole operation: Super-Joy. No, that's not her nickname (unless I can officially give those out). She is truly used by God in an amazing and powerful way. A true servant. She'd get embarrassed and quickly give all the praise to God if she saw or heard me say this.

That's Indiantown. Sure, when they come to church you may see a loud crazy bunch of Mexican kids that don't have manners or know the "church ethics" so many of us grew up with. They didn't have your parents. But we don't care out in Indiantown. We're there (like Super-Joy said tonight) to give those kids a chance at something better. If that means letting them have their rowdy moments and cake fights, so be it. Those kids have had an impact made in their lives by the ministry there. Mario, he got saved two weeks ago, he tries so hard. Even told Josh he was sorry for saying mean things tonight. Mario saying sorry, for anything, is a miracle in my book. Whoever said God is dead, is a liar. Mario is proof enough for me.

Epiphanies and Cookies

So today left a bad taste in my proverbial mouth. When something is gnawing away at my heart and mind it takes more than some milk and cookies to forget about it, I've found (although, they were delicious). Life is a lot of fun sometimes, but then you have "growing up" moments that aren't all that grand. But you come out of those moments a little wiser, and a little stronger. Even though the fun moments have always (and I hope always will) out weighed the bad ones, it seems that the bad moments drag on entirely to long.

Note to self: Urban Outfitters does NOT allow you to take silly photos of friend.

Mind Wonderings: Epiphanies are not always appreciated or greeted with the same enthusiasm amongst your friends as it was in your mind.

Random Fact: Sometimes I do things I don't want to, but manage to act like I do...and only a few observant ones could ever know the truth.

Gimme a Moment

I wipe another tear from my eye, and refocus my gaze upon the TV screen in front of me. The emotions and sympathy felt toward the people whom the actors were depicting overwhelmed my senses, and for the first time in a long time, I cried. I don't cry during movies a lot, so don't take me for a sap, but watching the TV show "Band of Brothers" has given me an outlook on war not seen in many movies. It all came to a climax though, when the Allies finally had fought their way into Nazi Germany, and began finding the concentration camps. A soldier slowly walked into one such camp, and I saw the happiness and joy come upon the prisoner's faces as they realized that they had been liberated. In one scene a prisoner threw his arms around a soldier, crying, tears flowing from his face. He hugged the soldier in his weak fragile arms, whole body shaking, and kissed the soldier. The remnants of a man, starved, put through who knows what, probably giving up hope every day, thinking he would never see the outside of his prison. It moved me so much as I remember it all, and tears flow again. The man's tears became my tears, his sorrow, and emptiness felt in my heart, and then the joy on his face as his liberator's came into view. In that brief scene I was reminded of my own pitiful state. How I had once been a prisoner in sin, starved of love, I had locked myself there, and then one day God came into my prison. Strong and mighty, I saw Him. Crying, and threw my arms around Him. God saved me. Words cannot describe the love in my heart for my Savior. Like that prisoner, I too have been liberated. Like that prisoner, I now thank my Savior for all He did to liberate this starving soul from his self-inflicted prison

camping out v-day

Ah the days are getting warmer , the sun is shinning brighter, and I'm still addicted to Call of Duty 4. Not to brag, but I'm not terrible. I'm not pro or even close, but I can get the job done. Yes, I'm a gamer at times...sometimes a little to much. But that's a sore subject you probably don't want to bring up to me, cause I may just shun you, or get defensive (I know what your thinking, and you can forget it Becky).

Camp Meeting is in full swing. Some people around campus don't appreciate all the hustle and bustle, but really, I do enjoy it. The new faces, the excitement, the over zealous security, and who's to forget the services where God still comes and meets with His people. No, it may not be like it was in the glory days, but just because all the girls aren't wearing hoes and don't all have their hair up in the same style doesn't mean that God still isn't here. So, instead of hiding in your room, house, or trailer, get out and meet someone. Talk to a visiting missionary. Push a random kid on a swing. Look for someone to pray for, someone to encourage. Don't hide. Don't be afraid. Allow God to use you in Sea Breeze Camp '09.

Valentine's Day is tomorrow. St. Valentine marrying all of those couples didn't have any idea what he was doing to us men in the 21st century. Ladies who are single, allow me to just say this: if you don't get a v-day card don't worry. You will get your share in the future. God has someone in mind for you. Not all those girls who have a man right now are going to be happy with the outcome of the relationship their in, so count your blessings and keep your chin up. And when all else fails, just remember, Valentine's Day is overrated, haha.

Encouragement comes in many different packages. For me, today, it came in an unexpected manner. I love being a friend and encouraging, my dad says its my spiritual gift. But at times I need a little myself. I can't go into detail, but I just want to say when I help a friend out, in even the smallest way, and they appreciate it (just a simple thank you) I feel encouraged :) I know, its not fireworks or anything, but it really does help me along. Its good to know I'm good for something every once in awhile :P

Mrs. Miller

Sometimes I literally sit in awe of myself during a caffeine high. Sad, pathetic, and unnecessary, I know. But after two Rockstar energy drinks, which I did not need, I just had to savor the blissful and disconcerted feelings obtained by the sweet nectar. I don't think I'm addicted to caffeine really, but I sure do love how hyper I get...not quite sure how my friends feel about that though, haha.

God is still good today, better than the day before. Just had to say it :)

When asked how she was, Mrs. Miller used to always reply, "The Lord is better to me than He is to anybody else."

She went on to be with Jesus, but the twinkle in her eye and smile on her face convinced me that I wanted that kind of relationship with God. I feel like I've let Him down, yet He's been so good to me and is so merciful that I feel like Sister Miller did.

Today, I feel like God was better to me than He was to anybody else.

A Cross to Bear

Today has been a good day, yet a trial. I often find that my day is most defined by the few hours at the end, and rarely ends the same way it starts. Today started off as a good day, don't you love those? But by 1 or 2 I could tell things were going to just start slipping.

Sad as it is, text messaging and winning Guitar Hero III were the perks/highlights of my day....or was it lunch? Anyway, I did have a good time with friends this evening, but it was the burden for a certain one friend, whom God put on my shoulders to bear, which mellowed my fantastic day down to a struggle just to make it through. I felt a burden so strong for this friend as he told me what was going on in his life, and why he had given up on God. I too had been there, given up on religion, seen the corruption and evil taking place in the holy circles. I wanted nothing to do with it, and separated myself to a place far from God, and I was there to stay...I thought.

Everything in my screamed at my friend to see the amazing love of God. I tried, in vain it seemed, to tell him that God has a love for us we don't deserve, a want for us we can't comprehend, a desire for a relationship for the undesirable. I do not know if I did anything or not, but I do know that God is going to help my friend.

I remember being at that low point thinking that nothing could help, because I had no desire to pick myself up. I'd already lost everything I had, my life was in shambles, and God seemed to be no where. I didn't think I was worth it, honestly. It was at that low point when God found me.

I pray He finds my friend soon. I pray, when He finds that lost soul, that my friend will willingly give himself over, and see that there is no better way. I pray for my friend to desire to be forgiven. I see why on some mission fields people are flocking to be saved now. They have seen all their lives what "nothing" is like...what a life without God is like, and a man comes from across the world and shows them a life of purpose. Here we have so many distractions. Things that deaden our minds to our spiritual state. Its happened to me far to often. I see now though... without God I think I would just want to die, because without Him, my life is pointless...

Coffee, Guitar, and Ruckus

Today has been amazing. Yesterday was better. I've re-discovered something. The wonderful world of caffeine highs. Wow, ten cups of coffee just about does it. I smiled and laughed the entire day. Of course, it came at a small cost of a crash somewhere around 12 a.m. but it was worth it I think. Even the tossing and turning on the couch didn't take my feelings of being somewhat accomplished.

I also found out that sometimes, babies do things to be annoying, just like me haha. Yes. Yes, I did just admit that I am like a baby in some ways (wow, that's insane).

I also realized that I love eating lunches with my friends. Laughing and carrying on in a loud and ruckus manner. I'm quite sure that far to many older people think we are out of control, but I'm afraid we don't care to much about volume control.

Also, I've learned to play a few new songs on guitar. Jon Hsu (my Asian friend) has been giving me tips, and my good friend Beck...a allowed me to borrow a guitar. Feel very honored to use it :) That was very nice of her.

The Lord has been good to me. I've been reminded that even though I've been saved, I still have a long way to go. He's been with me in incredible ways. Where I am today is only by His grace, where I'm going tomorrow would be no where without Him.

Sleep Abomination...

Oh today. It was a day dedicated to the abomination of all things pertaining to sleep. My goal, it seemed, last night was to do my very best to stay up as late as possible. That goal hit the proverbial limit at seven a.m. and I had a blast of a time getting there.

Not wanting to ruin a good thing of being tired and exhausted, I woke up to the sound of my cell playing a song that I hate (why its my ringtone, I do not know). It was Adam...oh Adam...if you only knew the sacrifice I made to watch that little nephew of mine. Apparently Adam didn't get haircuts until I came around to keep an eye on Noah while Beth gave him a haircut. Poor guy, good thing I was available to be of service after just 3 hrs of rest.

Aside from watching Noah, I discovered that not all pickles are good pickles and my favorite number is 21. Why? Because it can be, that's why. I also discovered today that dogs respond best to being grabbed in an aggressive manner than spanking them for barking in 4 second intervals.

The rest of my day consisted of working out, chatting online with friend(s), and learning to play a grand total of two songs (only a little ha ha) on a borrowed guitar (thank you Rebbecca).

I'm still trying to figure out if I should go to bed anytime soon. I don't want to miss out on anything amazing...

Cowboys and Indians

I grew up in Indiana on six acres of land. A tractor shed with a clubhouse and slide, two old barns (that were both tore down eventually) and an acre woods stood on the property. Even with all that, it was across the country road where my real adventure land lay. Here there stood 9 or 10 acres of pure bliss for any boy...and by pure bliss I mean, woods. In my spare time (and time that wasn't to be spared) I would fight and explore. What did I fight? Well, depending on who I could convince to wonder out into the woods with me, my brother's and sister being the main prey and on the wondrous occasion my cousin Phil would come visit. Oh the battles and adventures we had. My mother would holler and yell for us to come home, but we NEVER heard her till the last bit of energy was spent. Oh the trouble that woods caused us. The spankings we got for how dirty we were or the talking-to's for the mud or animals we brought back with us. Didn't matter to us, the more dangerous the better.

Summer time, the creek would flood: we would toss large logs in and "save them", not ever thinking we might need saving.

Winter would come and it would snow: then freeze rain on top, we would grab our sleds. But it wasn't enough to just sled down the ice-covered-hill, no, we had to try to HIT the person at the bottom as they tried to get out of the way (may we have a brief moment of silence for the many broken sleds lay at the bottom of our hill). The owner of the woods would drag a huge fireplace out to our sledding hill and make a fire to warm us as we tried to wreck destruction upon our snowy little woods.

Spring would come: we'd find some berries...no, we didn't know what they were, but we'd eat em.

Baby snake found in the dry creek bed in the fall: catch it! Who cares if its poisonous or if its trying to bite! We'd put it in a glass jar and chase Sarah around with it.

Oh the memories of playing in the woods. It was the Old West, where we would have glorious battles between Cowboy and Indian. The Battles between the good Kings and evil soldiers. Where I said the "d word" and got told on by Adam (thanks you jerk)...it WASN'T where I got my mouth washed out with soap though.... Its where I got the poles for my Indian tepee...

Now its just a woods again. I don't think that the animals are quite as happy as they once were. The trees no longer tickled by yelling and laughter. Now, its just trees and grass...but its waiting. Waiting for that next child to discover its enchanting power. There is magic in the woods...magic, just waiting for a child to unlock its gifts and pour them out all around...oh, how I miss it.

Sunday Dinners: A Lost Art

Somethings in life we forget to give thanks for, like shoelaces...or deodorant. Well, today I was reminded how thankful I am for the Sunday dinner. Many people in America have lost the art of the family tradition. I, myself, have grown up every Sunday eating a very unhealthy amount of mashed potatoes, meat, or desert. The food has not always been special or delicious, rather, its the fact that a family took the time to gather around a dinner table, say a prayer of thanks, and dig in. The food is great, but the chance to laugh and converse with the friends and family, in my opinion, is the true blessing. To often we get to busy in our week to find out about each other's life. But today I was reminded that, through the laughter and friendly gossip, I have the best friends and family anyone could ask for.

Here's to my family back home. To a mom that fixes the best green beans. To an adopted mom that takes my cell so I won't txt. To a adopted Grandma that spoils me. To Brian, who tells the most interesting stories. To a sister-in-law who cooks the most tender roast if falls apart. To a dad, that cooks every bit as good as mom (but mom still makes the better pies). To friends who are rotten enough to laugh at dropped dishes. Thank you all, for reminding me of the lost art of Sunday dinner :)