Oh the cynical days where I feel like challenging the world with everything I have. I don't often feel like picking a fight, but today I did. Probably not conducive to my health or well-being, so I digressed from my childish feelings of fighting and resumed my original cynical self that welcomed my face into existence as I stared in the mirror this morning.
Jonathan Robinson stayed at my house a couple of days this week. He just got back from Iraq and decided to use some vacation time to hit up Florida. Naturally when I found out he was down here I told him to come stay with me. What are friends for anyway?
In the morning I get to take Jonathan Leach to the airport...5:30 is looking very early right now, but maybe if I get him there and get to work early I'll get off work early. My sister-in-law (I know you'll read this Beth) insist on giving me something for this favor. I'm thinking a lifetime supply of noodles. I don't know why noodles, but that would mean as much to me as anything else she paid me with, cause its really my pleasure (seriously Beth, your my sister).
Indiantown is coming up soon, as I was reminded again tonight. I pray for those kids while I'm at work. I enjoy my job for that reason. I get to work alone a lot (that's probably going to change though), and when I'm alone I just sorta naturally talk to God. You know, its just me and Him out there, and I'm really quite boring to talk to myself. I find my conversations very predictable.
Oh, I found out today that when someone is unpredictable it doesn't mean that they're unpredictable at all...its something entirely predictable. Yes, you learn new things everyday
Monday, March 23, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Tomato Soup
So I think I'll be a little more down to earth today. I'm hungry. Yup, tomato soup isn't gonna cut it to much longer. I won't lie, I was a little impressed when I worked a 10 hr day on a dozen peanut butter crackers I had at 7:15 a.m. and still didn't eat again till 6:30. I managed to chew half a pack of gum though and drink maybe 3 gallons of water (maybe I exaggerated that last part a little tiny bit).
Today was my birthday. I'm 21...yes, finally I can buy alcohol legally! I had been waiting for this day for so long. Oh man, to bad I don't have those desires to drink anymore, haha. Funny how that happens. I'm not here to pick and choose about beliefs on drinking and is it wrong, or is it right. I know what I believe about that, and no, its not your business to know what I think about it. Anyway, I got some awesome encouragement from a friend. They didn't know I needed it, I didn't know that they were watching me or even noticing anything about me. But when they told me what they've seen in my life...well, let's just say that it was a blessing from God to hear it. I give all the glory to God for anything that is remotely right in my life, and take all the blame for the stupid things I still do. God's helping me, and I'm a willing servant.
Indiantown kids were a mess tonight. We're trying a new format that they love. Its called "Controlled Chaos" haha. No, we are really doing a new format that I'm sure will work after a little bit of time. It actually wasn't the kids inside as much as it was the kids outside. I KNOW we're making a difference in the kids, when the devil has to use the kids outside the walls to distract. As they banged on the windows and doors I was frustrated, but almost happy that the devil had to try so hard. They really listened to Joel as he talked tonight! Peewee answered a question!! When Joel asked "Who's image are we made in?" Peewee piped up, without hesitation (him? Hesitate to talk...that's a joke) and said "Oh! GOD!". It was beautiful to me! I was so happy, proud, and thankful to God and all the people who have put so much into those kids.
Man, did they really straighten up when I told my team that we were watching for a quiet seat :D some didn't care, but a few did. Even Peewee and Ivan came up to me after and asked if they were good. I told em yes, but not at first. Ivan said he didn't have a Bible. I am going to buy him one. I want them all to have a Bible. A big one, that their parents can't help but see. One in simple English, no fancy words, so a kid can understand it, and a parent that doesn't read a lot of English can pick it up and get something out of it. Pray for that :)
Today was my birthday. I'm 21...yes, finally I can buy alcohol legally! I had been waiting for this day for so long. Oh man, to bad I don't have those desires to drink anymore, haha. Funny how that happens. I'm not here to pick and choose about beliefs on drinking and is it wrong, or is it right. I know what I believe about that, and no, its not your business to know what I think about it. Anyway, I got some awesome encouragement from a friend. They didn't know I needed it, I didn't know that they were watching me or even noticing anything about me. But when they told me what they've seen in my life...well, let's just say that it was a blessing from God to hear it. I give all the glory to God for anything that is remotely right in my life, and take all the blame for the stupid things I still do. God's helping me, and I'm a willing servant.
Indiantown kids were a mess tonight. We're trying a new format that they love. Its called "Controlled Chaos" haha. No, we are really doing a new format that I'm sure will work after a little bit of time. It actually wasn't the kids inside as much as it was the kids outside. I KNOW we're making a difference in the kids, when the devil has to use the kids outside the walls to distract. As they banged on the windows and doors I was frustrated, but almost happy that the devil had to try so hard. They really listened to Joel as he talked tonight! Peewee answered a question!! When Joel asked "Who's image are we made in?" Peewee piped up, without hesitation (him? Hesitate to talk...that's a joke) and said "Oh! GOD!". It was beautiful to me! I was so happy, proud, and thankful to God and all the people who have put so much into those kids.
Man, did they really straighten up when I told my team that we were watching for a quiet seat :D some didn't care, but a few did. Even Peewee and Ivan came up to me after and asked if they were good. I told em yes, but not at first. Ivan said he didn't have a Bible. I am going to buy him one. I want them all to have a Bible. A big one, that their parents can't help but see. One in simple English, no fancy words, so a kid can understand it, and a parent that doesn't read a lot of English can pick it up and get something out of it. Pray for that :)
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
God's Blessings...
God has seriously answered prayer with my job. Today my boss told me that he is going to move me to full time (as if the 47 hrs I worked didn't tell me that). Its amazing to me when I look at the door God opened for this job that didn't seem like the right choice, yet I took it (partially out of desperation, I won't lie), and turned down the seemly better job offer. This job, though, has proven to be a wonderful blessing. Its closer than the other job, its easier, and it pays the same. God is wonderful (yes, I did just imagine it again).
Last Sunday I talked to the teens about how God wants us to use our tongues (something God has been talking to me about...ouch haha). They responded so well, it was wonderful! I'm so excited about the next few weeks. A paintball retreat is coming up that I've got them involved in, and hopefully next Sunday I can bring them all their favorite ice cream (shhh they don't know). Easter is coming up also, and I am going to start showing them a little bit of The Passion and talking to them about what Jesus went through. I don't want to scare them or anything, but I do want them to understand how much God went through to save us from our sins. Easter morning I want to have a wooden cross made, then I want them to write their sins on a piece of paper and nail them to the cross. After they've done that I've had the thought of taking the cross to the ocean and throwing it in, symbolizing that God throws our sins into a sea of forgiveness and grace.
Keep me in your prayers, as always. God is working on me everyday, its wonderful! I've never been so in love with God before. The devil is fighting, don't get me wrong. He's been beating me senseless it feels like sometimes, but God sweeps to my rescue just as I think I've lost it.
Last Sunday I talked to the teens about how God wants us to use our tongues (something God has been talking to me about...ouch haha). They responded so well, it was wonderful! I'm so excited about the next few weeks. A paintball retreat is coming up that I've got them involved in, and hopefully next Sunday I can bring them all their favorite ice cream (shhh they don't know). Easter is coming up also, and I am going to start showing them a little bit of The Passion and talking to them about what Jesus went through. I don't want to scare them or anything, but I do want them to understand how much God went through to save us from our sins. Easter morning I want to have a wooden cross made, then I want them to write their sins on a piece of paper and nail them to the cross. After they've done that I've had the thought of taking the cross to the ocean and throwing it in, symbolizing that God throws our sins into a sea of forgiveness and grace.
Keep me in your prayers, as always. God is working on me everyday, its wonderful! I've never been so in love with God before. The devil is fighting, don't get me wrong. He's been beating me senseless it feels like sometimes, but God sweeps to my rescue just as I think I've lost it.
I stepped into existence today with confusion in my head, and I am exiting the vast world of consciousness in the same state that I found it. I give my refection in the mirror a crooked smile and a weird look, as if to say "you have no idea what just happened, do you?" and my response as I turn out the light is "not even a little one". A dream just danced by...
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Pressing On
So today the devil attempted to get me down in the dumps. Yeah, it pretty much worked, I won't lie. Even now I'm still kinda fighting back and forth. But as I sat here getting hit by all the things I've done in the past, and the reminders of how imperfect I am, God has come. He reminds me of my blessings. You know the song "Count your blessings name them one by one, count your blessings see what God has done"? Well, its pretty hard for the devil to sit on my shoulder when God is showing me all these blessings. Its like sunshine after a rainy day. Just to name a few: God gave me a job this week. God gave me two ministries in the last few months. God's given me amazing friends. God gave me a home. God gave me an amazing brother and sister-in-law who live next door. God gave me joy. God gave me a new heart. The devil wants to drive us into the ground with "poor me" speeches all the time. But when I take an honest look at myself, I'm blessed beyond comprehension. I don't deserve any of those things. Sure, I have problems, don't get me wrong. But I won't get down about it.
When I feel like I'm in a losing battle this song helps me. Its from my favorite band Relient K (you don't like them? Tough)
Pressing On
I think we're going somewhere.
We're on to something good here.
Out of mind, out of state.
Trying to keep my head on straight.
I think we're going somewhere.
We're on to something good here.
There's only one thing left to do.
Drop all I have and go with you.
[Chorus:]
Somewhere back there I left my worries all behind.
My problems fell out of the back of my mind.
We're going and I'm never knowing (never knowing) where we're going.
To go back to where I was would just be wrong.
I'm pressing on.
Pressing on, all my distress is going, going, gone. (pressing on, pressing on)
And I won't sit back, and take this anymore.
'Cause I'm done with that, I've got one foot out the door.
And to go back where I was would just be wrong
I'm pressing on.
I think we're going somewhere.
We're on to something good here.
Out of mind, out of state.
Trying to keep my head on straight.
I think we're going somewhere.
We're on to something good here.
Adversity, we get around it.
Searched for joy, in you I found it.
You look down on me, but you don't look down on me at all.
You smile and laugh, and I feel the love you have for me.
I think we're going somewhere.
We're on to something good here, and we're gonna make it after all
When I feel like I'm in a losing battle this song helps me. Its from my favorite band Relient K (you don't like them? Tough)
Pressing On
I think we're going somewhere.
We're on to something good here.
Out of mind, out of state.
Trying to keep my head on straight.
I think we're going somewhere.
We're on to something good here.
There's only one thing left to do.
Drop all I have and go with you.
[Chorus:]
Somewhere back there I left my worries all behind.
My problems fell out of the back of my mind.
We're going and I'm never knowing (never knowing) where we're going.
To go back to where I was would just be wrong.
I'm pressing on.
Pressing on, all my distress is going, going, gone. (pressing on, pressing on)
And I won't sit back, and take this anymore.
'Cause I'm done with that, I've got one foot out the door.
And to go back where I was would just be wrong
I'm pressing on.
I think we're going somewhere.
We're on to something good here.
Out of mind, out of state.
Trying to keep my head on straight.
I think we're going somewhere.
We're on to something good here.
Adversity, we get around it.
Searched for joy, in you I found it.
You look down on me, but you don't look down on me at all.
You smile and laugh, and I feel the love you have for me.
I think we're going somewhere.
We're on to something good here, and we're gonna make it after all
Friday, March 6, 2009
I Need A Wash For I've Fallin Down
mmmmhmmm, its true. I'm still making mistakes. I heard the warnings growing up, that the paths we choose will effect us all our lives. Oh, if only I'd have paid attention, haha. Learning to take it with a laugh and grain of salt isn't all that easy, really. I realized today that I've carried over some rather nasty habits from my life of sin that (now that Light has been shed on them) are going on the chopping block. God was quick to convict me, and am I ever thankful. Yes, I feel like an idiot. Yes, I'm probably in deep doo-doo. The important thing is that God taught me a lesson I shall not forget (I think that I'm getting an idea for the youth group Sunday).
God gave me Colossians 4:6 "Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you man know how ye ought to answer every man". I realized today that my speech wasn't always with grace. In fact, I've had some down right mean and evil speech come from my mouth that wasn't at all holy or upright. God is faithful, that is all I know. I'd have given up on me and my antics long ago, but for some reason He keeps picking me up and dusting me off.
So Saturday I've set up some stuff for the youth group to do. We're going bowling...well, they are haha. I have a ticket for a concert this Saturday, and Brian told me not to worry about it and basically insisted I go to the concert (thanks Brian). I can't wait to see what will happen next :)
Dad called today :) He told me he was praying for me. He doesn't know how much that means to me. His sincere heart and the intense love he conveys is amazing. I've never doubted my father or mother's love for a second (even though my temper and anger may have shown otherwise). I know they only want what is best. They're wonderful and amazing parents. I wouldn't trade them for any other parents in the world. The relationship that they have with each other and God has been a seemingly perfect one. Secretly I compare my relationships with theirs. I do hope that my marriage is as happy as theirs :) I know that most kids have a high opinion of their parents, so I won't try to even compare, but I want them both to know that I love them very much.
God gave me Colossians 4:6 "Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you man know how ye ought to answer every man". I realized today that my speech wasn't always with grace. In fact, I've had some down right mean and evil speech come from my mouth that wasn't at all holy or upright. God is faithful, that is all I know. I'd have given up on me and my antics long ago, but for some reason He keeps picking me up and dusting me off.
So Saturday I've set up some stuff for the youth group to do. We're going bowling...well, they are haha. I have a ticket for a concert this Saturday, and Brian told me not to worry about it and basically insisted I go to the concert (thanks Brian). I can't wait to see what will happen next :)
Dad called today :) He told me he was praying for me. He doesn't know how much that means to me. His sincere heart and the intense love he conveys is amazing. I've never doubted my father or mother's love for a second (even though my temper and anger may have shown otherwise). I know they only want what is best. They're wonderful and amazing parents. I wouldn't trade them for any other parents in the world. The relationship that they have with each other and God has been a seemingly perfect one. Secretly I compare my relationships with theirs. I do hope that my marriage is as happy as theirs :) I know that most kids have a high opinion of their parents, so I won't try to even compare, but I want them both to know that I love them very much.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Jammies and A Shimmer of Hope
Oh if you only knew! Wow, last night (before I went to sleep) and this morning (when I woke up) I realized the most amazing thing. Want to know what it is? Okay (I'm so excited about this...you really have no idea), I discovered I was wearing THE most comfy jammies I'd ever wore in my lifetime. I could use all sorts of adjectives to describe them to you, but honestly...it wouldn't suffice.
Tonight on the Indiantown route I started out feeling so discouraged. I'm confident now it was merely a trick of the enemy, but it almost worked. I was coming off a caffeine high, and kinda crashed, but God helped me. By the end of the night I felt better about how things were going, and didn't want to give into the immediate desires that came to mind when Mario did something he shouldn't.
Mario...he's a bundle of energy, to say the least. Always has a smart remark, has courage to say what he thinks he should say to anyone (not a good thing right now), he loves being the center of attention, loves to laugh, and has a lot of fight in him. I truly believe that those are things that God gave him (I hope they are, because I know I have some of those qualities). However, I think we can all see how those qualities can be distracting for the other kids, when Mario isn't channeling them into being a good boy. Honestly, its the kids like Mario that I grow to love the most. Yes, you have to be stern and devote a lot of time and attention into them, but I see so much potential for good. Pray that Mario, and the other kids, are not lost to the enemy. They will be mighty warriors if the Lord can get hold of their hearts :)
Many people have asked, so I thought I'd share on my blog. My first day of youth ministry at New Beginnings Community was greatly blessed by God. He helped me so much :) thank you ALL for your prayers! I felt each one. I thought I knew what I was going to talk about the night before, but as I turned out the light and climbed into bed God laid a message on my heart I couldn't stop thinking about. So I got out of bed, grabbed my Bible (when I say "Bible" I always want to pronounce it "bib-lee". I don't know why) and started writing down notes. Andrew Halstead went with me, and I'm happy he did, because he talked to the kids some and kept the conversation flowing (thanks Andrew). I'm trusting God for what to do next. I want to stay and do whatever He would have me to do, for as long as He would have me do it.
Once again, thank you all for your prayers :)
Tonight on the Indiantown route I started out feeling so discouraged. I'm confident now it was merely a trick of the enemy, but it almost worked. I was coming off a caffeine high, and kinda crashed, but God helped me. By the end of the night I felt better about how things were going, and didn't want to give into the immediate desires that came to mind when Mario did something he shouldn't.
Mario...he's a bundle of energy, to say the least. Always has a smart remark, has courage to say what he thinks he should say to anyone (not a good thing right now), he loves being the center of attention, loves to laugh, and has a lot of fight in him. I truly believe that those are things that God gave him (I hope they are, because I know I have some of those qualities). However, I think we can all see how those qualities can be distracting for the other kids, when Mario isn't channeling them into being a good boy. Honestly, its the kids like Mario that I grow to love the most. Yes, you have to be stern and devote a lot of time and attention into them, but I see so much potential for good. Pray that Mario, and the other kids, are not lost to the enemy. They will be mighty warriors if the Lord can get hold of their hearts :)
Many people have asked, so I thought I'd share on my blog. My first day of youth ministry at New Beginnings Community was greatly blessed by God. He helped me so much :) thank you ALL for your prayers! I felt each one. I thought I knew what I was going to talk about the night before, but as I turned out the light and climbed into bed God laid a message on my heart I couldn't stop thinking about. So I got out of bed, grabbed my Bible (when I say "Bible" I always want to pronounce it "bib-lee". I don't know why) and started writing down notes. Andrew Halstead went with me, and I'm happy he did, because he talked to the kids some and kept the conversation flowing (thanks Andrew). I'm trusting God for what to do next. I want to stay and do whatever He would have me to do, for as long as He would have me do it.
Once again, thank you all for your prayers :)
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
A Famous Doctor's Birthday
Sigh, today and yesterday I've learned the true feelings of my neighbors. Evidently I have no motorcycle enthusiast living in my neck of the woods (except my brother of course). Several sources indicate that I am coming or going far to loud. I wish they could hear my bike when I want it to be loud. Its truly obnoxious, but when I leave my humble abode, I honestly keep it to a very "quiet" level.
Today was Dr. Seuss' birthday today. He was a special guy. If you want to get some really good quotes, just Google him and you'll be amazed.
Andrew worked very late tonight. Something about the happen-chance that someone from his store was almost guaranteed to get fired by the "big bad boss" prompted him to stay at work from 9 am to 2:30 am. Good luck bud, hope ya don't get the hatchet after dropping that many hours into your job.
I'm very curious how today (today being Tuesday) will turn out. Normally I don't worry about the next day, unless there is something looming in the distance which I am unsure of, and can go very good or bad all depending on me (of course, God is in control, but if I think that, then I can't worry anymore and that's just silly...wait).
Walking Noah to the beach every few days, and passing the same people has led me to believe that they think he is my son. They smile and some parents give me this "look" that I'm confident is some kind of parental code that says "I've been there". Only problem is, I've never been there, and that look is making me uncomfortable. I've never even changed a diaper (stop gawking, many ppl haven't, sheesh).
Tonight I used the word "retard", but I said it so fast it came out like "rataard". The grief I got from the torment my friends gave me the rest of the night cured me from using the word all together. I have great friends...
Today was Dr. Seuss' birthday today. He was a special guy. If you want to get some really good quotes, just Google him and you'll be amazed.
Andrew worked very late tonight. Something about the happen-chance that someone from his store was almost guaranteed to get fired by the "big bad boss" prompted him to stay at work from 9 am to 2:30 am. Good luck bud, hope ya don't get the hatchet after dropping that many hours into your job.
I'm very curious how today (today being Tuesday) will turn out. Normally I don't worry about the next day, unless there is something looming in the distance which I am unsure of, and can go very good or bad all depending on me (of course, God is in control, but if I think that, then I can't worry anymore and that's just silly...wait).
Walking Noah to the beach every few days, and passing the same people has led me to believe that they think he is my son. They smile and some parents give me this "look" that I'm confident is some kind of parental code that says "I've been there". Only problem is, I've never been there, and that look is making me uncomfortable. I've never even changed a diaper (stop gawking, many ppl haven't, sheesh).
Tonight I used the word "retard", but I said it so fast it came out like "rataard". The grief I got from the torment my friends gave me the rest of the night cured me from using the word all together. I have great friends...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
