I've come to far...

Today as I was working out (please understand when I say "work out" I am not refering to me pumping insane amounts of iron...they are infact very light haha), and God reminded me where I came from, and where I am now. Upon arriving home I felt like I should post my testimony on here :)

So, here it goes.

I grew up in a conservative Christian home. I knew all my life all the things I needed to do to be saved. Many times I would commit my life to Christ, however, I fell over and over in my imaturity and because never truly allowed my heart to be sanctified and made holy. I wanted to see the "world" as it were. Secretly in my heart I had a desire to get out there and taste sin, but I knew enough not to say that out loud, and it showed through in my life. Even after almost two years of going to a Bible College I was still dabbling in sin. Oh, I'd get help here and there, and many times I know that I was sincer in my walk with God. But in my imaturity I'd fall. Then I was given a gift one day. A book called "Wild at Heart". If you haven't read that book, guy or girl, you should. As I read it I saw what I'd been missing all the while. I'd been holding a piece back from God. I allowed something to take its place, and depended on that thing to get me through life. God shook my world, and showed me I had to let go. That was the single hardest thing I have ever done. To describe what I went through in that process wouldn't really do it justice. I'm not asking for sympathy, because it was the best thing that could have happened to me.

it wasn't until almost 6 months later that I had the bright idea to go to a hardrock concert. Some crazy bands were playing (Bullet for My Valentine, Trapt, Buckcherry, Apocaliptica, Puddle of Mud, and some others). I've never been to something like that, and as I walked among the masses of ppl I saw enough. Fights broke out, drugs being used freely, and people were passed out before the headliners even took stage. I found a spot in the grass and watched. As drunken soul after drunken soul passed by me my stomach churned.

That's when I found out that God goes to rock concerts. He began whispering to me in that still small voice. The kind where no matter how loud the music is, no matter whats going on around you, its heard in a gentle way. My heart melted, and as Buckcherry took stage (the band I wanted to hear the most), my friends and I started to head for the exit. I'd seen enough. By the time I got to the car I knew I wanted nothing to do with that lifestyle...I knew Who I wanted in charge of my life.

Every day I grow a little more, and it seems like every day I make a blunder. But now, instead of just falling back to square one, I lean on God. He picks me up, dusts off the dirt and says, "Walk WITH Me this time...". Yeah, its a walk with me :) I haven't figured out the "running" part yet. Ironically I think that happens the older and longer ya stay with it.

God is my everything now. It has been a long journey getting here, and I still have pains (its true that the mistakes you make in your past haunt you). But now, instead of trying to deal with those painful memories or haunting thoughts, I give them to God. I owe all I am or ever will be to Him